Rule Impaired

I attended an engineering college in East Texas which, at the beginning of the '70s, consisted of of a student body made up primarily of males. The man to woman ratio was not worth discussing. If you were a guy you really didn't stand a chance.

Young men without female company tend to make their own entertainment. One of our great joys as students was to start a special chant at school sporting events. Since the cheer was officially prohibited by the college administration, doing it was all the sweeter.

If I remember it properly, it went something like this:

"Hoot, hoot, hoot, we're the boys from the Institute.
We don't smoke and we don't chew and we don't go with girls that do.
Some people say we don't have any fun.
They're right!"

For some reason the college president did not feel this cheer gave the best impression of our institution to other student bodies. It was great fun to get this chant going and see the president or dean of students run up and down the sidelines trying to quiet us down.

Thinking of that experience, I was reminded of how many rules I have had in different schools I attended which now seem a bit antiquated.

In my grade school it was a rule that you had to go out and play during recess unless the temperature was 10 below zero. I am not making this up! After spending years in the tropics I can't imagine I ever survived such a rule. I wonder if they still subject children to such arctic experiences? I wonder if you can still get a kid to stick his tongue on the flag pole? I wonder if the school principal can still use that type of vocabulary when he is yelling at you for getting someone to stick their tongue on the flag pole?

When I was in Jr. High and Sr. High, girls' dresses were measured for length. I remember seeing young ladies being forced to kneel in the hallway and watching the vice-principal measuring the distance from knee to hemline. Would that even be legal today?

Young men were supposed to keep their shirts tucked in at my school. Somehow, that didn't work for me. I wish I could explain it better than that. However, maybe the best I can come up with is to simply state that I was "rule impaired."

They should have given me a special parking spot - not that I would have used it!

One of Susan's first memories of my person is that of seeing me being held off the ground by the collar of my shirt (and some neck skin!) by a particularly burly science teacher as he yelled at me about my untucked shirt. The country was being divided over the war in Vietnam and this man was determined to unify it over the issue of tucking one's shirt tails.

The Christianity of those years seemed especially filled with rules: don't play ball on Sundays; don't read the newspaper on Sundays; don't play games with dice on any day of the week (if a game came with dice, replace it with a little spinning kind of thing); don't play cards (except Rook); always attend every church meeting; and, remember long hair is always a sin (unless you are a woman in which case it is short hair which should be avoided). I took special issue with the list of rules related to music. At one time or another I was told/taught that jazz, rock and, even, country western music were all sin. The amazing thing was polka was considered to be okay... even though it led directly to dancing, as far as I could figure out.

I am now a seriously middle-aged man slipping quickly towards membership in the AARP. With that in mind, I feel it is now time for me to come up with my own list of rules for Christianity. I am afraid if I do not some other young men who are rule impaired will not be able to experience their full humanity.

It is with that in mind that I humbly put forth the following set of rules as a starting point for some new Christian legalism.

1) Fix your eyes on Jesus. (Hebrew 12:2) While we try to apply this one it might be worthwhile to remember the verse goes on to talk about His suffering and the opposition He faced. If the master suffers we probably should be prepared to do the same.

2) Pursue His righteousness and His Kingdom. (Matthew 6:33) We need to be authentic disciples which reflect His character and His priorities.

3) Thinking of discipleship, we must continue to make disciples as we are going through the normal course of life. (Matthew 28:19,20) We must go from a Great Commission to an Everyday Commission if we are going to impact this world. We must quit looking for magic programs which we believe will give us quick success to a commitment to long-term incarnational living.

4) Walk as children of light. (Ephesians 5:8) This probably goes with the rule above, but good rules are worth repeating.

5) Here is one especially applicable for this past week of chaos in the world financial markets: Do not be anxious (Matthew 6:25- 34). This is hard rule at times. However, if all rules were easy they wouldn't be real rules... well, that is what that old science teacher used to tell me.

I have actually been thinking of a number of other rules I feel we could inflict on modern Christianity, but let me end today with one that seems to cause problems for lots of men in ministry.

6) Be kind to others. (Luke 6:35; Ephesians 4:32) Somehow we have a hard time being kind when we feel that our interests, program and/or ministry are threatened. Ultimately, none of this is about us... it is about Jesus.

So there you go a list of Christian rules for beginners. I understand that none of them seem as important as ball playing rules on Sunday or rules dealing with the length of hair. I can only ask for your patience. After all, admittedly I am a bit of a neophyte when it comes to the rules regarding rules.