Moral Certainty and Rock 'n Roll

As I grew up, there was more moral certainty in life. Jocks got all the girls; girls were all, well, girls; and, we all really did like Ike… that is, unless you secretly appreciated Adlai Stevenson’s intellectual capabilities. One decade into the 21st Century, it seems like there are more existential gradients of gray and little of the certainty from the Fifties remains in our daily lives.

A familiar example is Rock ‘n Roll – when I was a kid it was a sin and everyone with a real family knew it.  Wherever I was dragged in Christian circles, well-meaning believers pointed out the sinfulness  of every rock entertainer  from Little Anthony to Little Eva.  Well, everyone except my grandmother – she continued to patiently fight her battle against jazz and “big band” music.

The only way I had to listen to real rock - not the watered down version on WDGY -  was getting up at 2:00am to catch a “skip” coming in from Chicago. The female DJ’s “smoker voice” agitated my teenage imagination. Everyone knew that girls who smoked would do anything – maybe even vote for Adlai Stevenson!

My father tried to save me. I remember one night when he was driving me to an evening activity at my junior high school. He pulled the car over to the shoulder of the road and said he wanted to “talk.” The only other time I remember him doing this was when I had asked him for a definition of a “sob” after reading a speech by former President Truman (he had identified  several Russian leaders using almost that exact term). I seem to recall that my father’s definition of a sob was about as confusing as his criticism of music.

To give Dad credit, when attempting to convince me of the evil of Rock ‘n Roll he did not take the traditional tack. Instead, he tried to champion the benefits of Country Western and its general superiority over my low-brow music. When I pointed out that much of Country focused on drinking (alcoholic beverages) and falling in love with someone (who wasn’t exactly your wife), he ceded the point. However, he continued his defense based on the fact that Country Western music “told a story.”

Of course, depending on the type of Rock ‘n Roll, it also told a story.

Now for those readers who are a bit younger, you have to understand this was before there were at least 200 sub-genres of rock music. I am not making this up! OVER 200 types  are listed on Wikipedia. This was when you could divide Top 40 music into six basic categories: 

Songs about unrequited love: “Save the Last Dance for Me” (The Drifters); “Take Good Care of My Baby” (Bobby Vee); “I Will Follow Him” (Little Peggy March); “My Guy” (Mary Wells) and many, many more. 

Songs about the hope of future love: “The Shoop, Shoop Song” (Betty Everett); “Wishin’ and Hopin’” (Dusty Springfield); “Oh Pretty Woman” (Roy Orbinson); and, “Our Day Will Come” (Ruby and the Romantics). 

Songs about love gone bad: “My Boyfriend’s Back” (The Angels); “Runaway” (Del Shannon); “Mean Woman Blues” (Roy Orbinson); and, “The End of the World” (Skeeter Davis). 

Songs about loving to dance: “The Locomotion” (Little Eva); “The Twist” (Hank Ballard AND Chubby Checker); “Mashed Potato Time” (Dee Dee Sharp). 

Songs about being in love with surfing: Most recordings by the early Beach Boys; “Wipe Out” (The Surfaris) and “Surf City” (Jan and Dean). 

Songs about being in love with your car: “GTO” (Ronny and the Daytonas); “Maybellene” (Chuck Berry); and “Little Deuce Coupe” (The Beach Boys).

Admittedly, there was a brief fad of being in love with dead teenagers (occasionally referred to as “Splatter Platters”) like “Tell Laura I Love Her” (Ray Peterson) and “Leader of the Pack” (The Shangri-Las). And, admittedly, a few of them like “Laurie (Strange Things Happen)” referenced what seemed like paranormal activity. However, to their credit they all told a story making them the moral equivalent of any Country and Western song!

One song that seems to stand alone in this early Rock ‘n Roll, is “Chain Gang” by Sam Cooke. I doubt Sam was in love with the chain gang he reportedly saw while traveling in a car with his brother, however he was definitely impressed by them.

Believe it or not, there were a number of academic papers written about early Rock. My guess is this had something to do with the complexity of the Cuban missile crisis… perhaps, a bit too challenging for the same academics to write about.  I quote from one of them:  “Rock 'n' roll was for and about adolescents. Its lyrics articulated teenage problems: school, cars, summer vacation, parents, and, most important, young love. All aspects of the music—its heavy beat, loudness, self-absorbed lyrics, and (emotional) delivery—indicated a teenage defiance of adult values and authority.”

I am not convinced. As shown above, most of that early rock talked about love. It seems like that is hard to be against – whether you are an adolescent, parent or, even, political candidate. Although, admittedly, I have heard little love being expressed between the current Republican candidates for the presidency.

By the way, thinking of love, I should probably confess to Su that one of these songs has brought up a some feelings I still have for a former love. I really, really  loved that 1968 Pontiac Lemans. I still miss it.

Probably always will.

Ambiguous Loss

As many of you know, Su continues to slog through her recovery from surgery last September. Truthfully, it hasn't been easy and doesn't seem to get much easier as the months drag on. To their credit, the surgeon and his staff in Kansas City never promised us that Su would make a "full recovery." In fact, to the contrary, they said we could hope for something in the 50% range. Admittedly, that would be an excellent batting average. However, it is a rather uncertain measurement when applied to my wife's quality of life.

This week, I have been reading a book entitled Ambiguous Loss by Pauline Boss and recommended to me by our friends, Gary and Joy Hanson. The basic message of this secular book is that with ambiguous loss in life there is no clear end to the problem and there is no certainty that a loved one will come back and be the way they used to be. Ouch! That sounds a little too close to our own situation. Maybe that is the reason the Hansons had recommended the book!

 

Now, I am your "basic guy." I tend to look for solutions to problems. After  several years of marriage, Su learned to say to me, "I am going to share a feeling with you. There is no need for you to fix it." When she doesn't provide this verbal clue, I tend to go into strategic planning mode to resolve whatever issue Su is presenting to me. Like I say, I am, in fact, a guy. 

Unfortunately, not every situation we encounter in life has a clear solution. In fact, the older I get the more suspicious I am of "quick fixes and magic bullets." Sometimes there is no clear path to resolve our current situation. Sometimes you just have to keep on living, walking in faith and doing the next thing - whatever the next thing is.

I am encouraged that God understands ambiguous loss in life. In Isaiah 42:3 we read, "A crushed reed he will not break, a dim wick he will not extinguish." That seems to describe ambiguous loss - no quite whole, not really broken; not in full flame, but not yet extinguished.

Later on in the same chapter, after describing Himself as the Creator and All-powerful, He says, "... I take hold of your hand."  In the context of the passage, he is talking about taking the Messiah's hand. However, today I like to think of Him taking mine... ours. 

When I was a boy I used to walk hand-in-hand with my father. His hands were thick, strong and calloused. My own hand seemed to get lost in his palm. He walked too fast for me, but that was okay - his strong grip provided a "power-assist,"enabling me to keep up with him. Right now, I am counting on our heavenly Father extending His hand, much like my earthly father once did. We trust he'll give that gentle tug that helps us to imitate the Johnny Walker adverts and "keep on walking."

Soldiers, Cowboys and Old Rock 'n Roll Musicians

Did you ever see the movie Saving Private Ryan? I went to it with my friend Kiernan Mack. I think the juxtaposition of having a decadent, large malt at Oberweiser's Dairy and seeing something as horrendous as the realities of D-Day - all within three hours - made it a little "too much" for me. At least that is the excuse I continue to stick to when I think about crying in the theater... next to another man.

Come on guys. You know the scene I am talking about. Captain Miller, who has led the effort to save James Ryan, lays dying after the final battle, shot through a lung. Private Ryan kneels next to the captain, watching him struggle through his last breaths. Through his pain, Miller manages to grunt out, "James. Earn this... earn it."

Of course, that is NOT the scene I am talking about.

Right after Captain Miller dies, the film cuts to a now much older version of James Ryan visiting the French cemetery where the mortal remains of Miller rest. The movie shows a grey-haired Ryan kneeling in front of the cross of the grave, engaging in a conversation with his deceased companion. He tells Captain Miller that his family is with him. He let's the captain know he has thought about Miller's final words every day of his life. Ryan explains that he has tried to live a good life and hopes the captain is in agreement with how it turned out.

Finally, "old man" Ryan stands up... he is still unsure if anything could be worthy of the sacrifice of his "Band of Brothers." The question remains. So, he turns to his wife and basically pleads, "Tell me I've led a good life." Of course, she is shocked and responds with a confused, "What?" Ryan tries it again, "Tell me I'm a good man." She is obviously distressed, but his desperation makes her think better of shushing him. So, instead, she looks him in the eyes and says, "You are."

I haven't seen that movie since it came out. I can't remember all the realistic war scenes that were the hot topic of conversation when it was in the theaters. However, this scene - the scene - still haunts me. 

This week a friend from my college years, Jerry Cassel, sent me some photos of a band in which both us once played. Did they bring back some memories, or what? I spent most of the rest of the day whistling or humming some of our old songs. The picture below offers ample evidence of just how l-o-o-o-n-g ago this was.

After processing some of the fun memories and wondering about some "what-could-have-beens," I started looking at the guy in the top/center of the photo above. 

I have to admit that I have spent more than a few minutes thinking about some of the potential that young man had (in addition to great hair!) and if he had really lived up to it. I have honestly wondered about the investment made with a life and whether the investment has paid off ten times, two times or, not at all. (Matthew 25:14-30)

I am glad that Mr. Ryan's wife responded in the present tense with, "You are." It gives me some hope there is still a possibility of investing well, of making all this count for something. I can never "earn" the life I have been given, as Captain Miller suggested. However, as someone who spent a few too many years in Texas,  I do hope, pray and long for the privilege of looking into the eyes of the one who did earn the right to give me life and hear Him say, "Good ride, cowboy. Good ride."

Not So Trivial

Many of you "up North" probably missed the fact that January 4th was "National Trivia Day" in the United States. I can assure you, with my tendency to amass piles of absolutely useless information (The only number whose letters are in alphabetical order is 40: f-o-r-t-y), I did not. In fact, I celebrated by reading at least two articles whose only purpose was to allow me to interject trivia into future conversations.

Su can hardly wait.

Actually, we could be excused for missing National Trivia Day here in Costa Rica because we still find ourselves in a rather extended celebration of Christmas. Now this will not be surprising for those of you who possess the bit of trivia that in several Latin America countries January 6th is "El Dia de los Reyes" or, Three Kings Day. The date marks the culmination of the twelve days of Christmas and commemorates the three wise men who traveled from afar, bearing gifts for the infant Jesus. In particular, the children of Mexico look forward to this holiday because it means they will get at least one more gift.

It's hard to not like a holiday that provides you more gifts.

Our own celebration as been extended because the Christmas cards that many of you sent to us continue to arrive at our local post office. I really believe there may be a rule in Costa Rica stating we are not allowed to receive our Christmas cards until the New Year. Seriously. Some of you sent cards to us at the end of November which we finally read this week!

The extension of the Christmas season does serve one purpose. During the days leading up to Christmas we all tend to be a bit sentimental regarding the holiday... perhaps, it really is possible to see It's A Wonderful Life one too many times! Extending the season allows us to meditate on some of the other aspects of our Lord's birth - some of the things that we do not normally think about.

This week I have been thinking about the people and interest groups which probably did not believe the Messiah's birth was good news. In fact, His birth probably provoked the kind of threatening change that understandably led to resistance.

Herod created an empire that focused on a massive building program meant to immortalize him. He was cruel and unjust. Certainly, it wasn't good news for Herod to hear about the birth of a new king.

The birth of Jesus was not good news for the Romans. The accusation that Christianity accelerated the end of the Roman empire probably holds some water. Introducing a radical, new cosmology into daily life certainly did not promote unity.

Obviously, the Good News was bad news for the religious folk like the scribes and the Pharisees. Their whole life-style pre-supposed being able to control people through religious tradition and rules. People who like rules do not take to rule-breakers.

Trust me. I know.

In Matthew 10:35 Jesus stated that He did not come into His creation to bring peace. He did not become incarnate to create warm, fuzzy feelings or, even, holiday films. Instead,  He came to divide and sever. In fact, this loss of peace and increase in loneliness is probably the natural cost of discipleship. (10:37.38) 

It was none other than Shakespeare who, in part, popularized the use of "trivia" to describe something as trite, commonplace or unimportant. Before his time it was primarily used to describe a liberal arts education. Of course, some people are of the opinion that the latter and former are one in the same. 

There was nothing commonplace or unimportant about our Lord's birth. It did divide creation's history in two. It did separate families, one from another. It still demands that we would be willing to respond to it and Him by picking up our cross and following Him.

My Lists for 2011

It is the last day of 2011 and, once again, even a brief glance at the television, internet news sites, YouTube and, even, Christianity Today will provide you with some type of top ten list for the year. So far I have been protected from seeing a "Top Ten List of Top Ten Lists." If you actually know of one, please refrain from sending it to me - I am hoping to begin 2012 in a positive frame of mind.

YouTube has come to define the era of online video. Now, everyone can literally be seen on the small screen. We have come a long way since watching Milton Berle, I Love Lucy and the Lawrence Welk Show together as families. YouTube's top ten videos this year include the normal music clips of kids playing covers of popular songs and videos of cute cats doing, well, cute things. It only has one advertisement - Volkswagen's "The Force." I am still amazed that advertisements have titles like books or plays or movies. From my perspective, the video entitled "Nyan Cat" (#5 on the top ten list) is probable proof of a plot against western culture as we have known it until now.

Christianity Today's top ten list of news stories for 2011 includes some that I was aware of and a few that I (fortunately) missed. Their number one item was the publication of Rob Bell's book which seemed to legitimize universalism. The number 4 story was the death of John Stott, pastor, author and a mentor to leaders in the global church. Because of his positive impact and leadership within Christianity, many people forget that he also wrote about a type of universalism - annihilationism, or the belief that hell is incineration into non-existence. Still, one of the books that I would like to read in 2012 is Portraits of a Radical Disciple: Recollections of John Stott's Life and Ministry.

Thinking of books, the #6 story on Christianity Today's list was HarperCollins, which already owns Zondervan, buying out the Christian publisher, Thomas Nelson. This means that they will now own 50% of the Christian book market. One can't miss the irony that the same company which published Bart Simpson's Guide to Life (1993) now provides most of our literature in Christian bookstores. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

All of these lists have done one positive thing for me today - they have encouraged me to look back over 2011 and remember some of the things that God was doing in our lives and ministry. I will not put them into a top ten list. However, I will leave you with a few things which quickly come to mind:

Even though Su's illness and surgeries have been very, very challenging (I would add another "very," but Su will not let it past her editor's pen), God has shown Himself to be faithful. He opened the door to see the right doctors at the right time. He has allowed Su to begin the long recovery process. He has provided for our significant health costs.

Even though we had a few set-backs due to the political chaos of the "Arab Spring," we have seen Latin missionaries advance in some very difficult countries - including in some that continue to find themselves in the headlines. God is using our Latin workers to make a difference in the world.

We have seen growth on several teams in Latin America and growth in the impact these teams are having in their communities and countries. Our missionaries are actually being used to raise up the next generation of leaders in Latin America. What a privilege!

I could continue with the list, but it seems to me they all have one thing in common - God has, once again, shown Himself to be faithful. He has not let us down. He has not abandoned us.

So, in a world where Nyan Cat has been viewed almost 57 million times and News Corporation (owners of HarperCollins) now control Christian publishing, I can still sleep at night. God is on His throne. He has led us through another year of ministry and life - he will lead in 2012, as well.

Praying for Little Girls in Unstable Times

All three of my daughters have Bolivian citizenship. Sometimes people will look at Norma, Krista and Kari and then point to Norma and say something like, "So, this is your Bolivian daughter!" I can assure you, this is one way to really fry Krista and Kari's grits... they have never appreciated hearing statements like that.

When Krista was born, Bolivia was under a "state of siege." This meant the military was in control of the country; due process of law was denied; and, there was a curfew after 8:00pm. If you were caught out after curfew you were taken to the military jail in Miraflores. It was an unstable country at an unstable time.

We chose the doctor and hospital where Su gave birth to Krista based on the fact that I could be present in the delivery room. Back in those days, this was a new idea in Bolivia. In fact, during one of Su's prenatal visits, Dr. Teran asked if he could invite a few professional colleagues to join us in the delivery room, so they could observe how a husband handled the experience. Su, ever the nurse, thought that sounded like it would be okay.

Still, on July 12, 1979, when Su was rolled into the delivery room, we found we were accompanied by an audience of five doctors and six or seven nurses. Admittedly, we hadn't really processed what it would feel like for my introverted wife to give birth in front of this many people. However, my brave and very focused wife threw caution (and modesty) to the wind and did everything she was asked to do to get on with the task at hand.

I must admit to making a few mistakes in my role as Su's "helper" - sorry, I still find it rather humorous that men feel like they are really doing anything useful while their wife is giving birth. First, I had promised I would read the book on natural childbirth. I really meant to... seriously. Somehow those nine months just got away from me. Second, in response to Su asking me about what Krista looked like when she was born, I made an unfortunate "man error" and actually told her the truth. Believe me, I think (hope, believe) that I have learned my lesson in this particular area.

It is now a bit more than 32 years later. Yesterday morning at 4:05am Krista gave birth to her own daughter, Hannah Grace Ophus. She was accompanied by her husband Chris and just the right amount of hospital staff. My guess is Chris knew all the right things to do and all the right things to say - he is an excellent son-in-law.

From the time they came into our family, Su has prayed Numbers 6:24-26 over our daughters. I pray the same thing for Hannah and my other grandchildren this morning. The world is still an unstable place where bad things happen to good people. 

"The Lord bless you - Hannah, Jonathan, Adrian and Natasha, and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace."

Strange Week

Now, some of you who are sympathetic to the fact that Su has lived with me week-in-and-week-out for over 36 years, are going to think that EVERY week is a bit strange for Su. Even I would have to admit that you are probably right. However, this one has been especially "different."

We began the week in beautiful, tropical San Isidro, Costa Rica, and have ended it in early fall in the Kansas City metro area. It is what has happened in between that has made it "special."

On Monday we had two pre-operative visits with the wonderful team at Research Medical Center in KC. As part of the pre-op procedures they went through the medicines that Su is currently taking. I would guess that they had to look up half of them on the internet because the names and dosages between countries are so different ... and at least two remained a mystery to them. The two nurses dealing with this problem kept saying, "These are very strange. We have never heard of these medicines."

The next day we returned to check Su into the hospital for her surgery. The first question that two doctors asked us was, "What is this medicine?" One also wanted to know where we got it. I was tempted to say Colombia, but Su always likes me to be on my best behavior in medical establishments.

I try. I really try.

Su's surgery was scheduled later in the day (The surgeon and his team had graciously added Su’s procedure onto their busy schedule). At 4:30pm, as Kari and I waited while Su was in the OR, the individuals attending the phones in the outpatient admissions and large waiting room stood up and said, "We’re leaving now. You are now in charge of answering the phones." 

I am NOT making this up! Since there were several other people in the room, I looked at the most professional-looking man among us and said, "She must have meant you." I will NOT write down his verbatim response . . . it probably wouldn't be appropriate for a missionary update.

So, strange as it may sound, I spent the rest of our time answering the hospital waiting room phone system. I must have sounded like I knew something, because I was asked at least one medical question. I was tempted to suggest the medicine the doctors could never identify as a possible solution, but remembered Su's strict warnings just in time and, instead, convinced a passing nurse to take the call.

Maybe the strangest thing of all is simply sitting in a hospital room day after day with someone you love very much and realizing there is very little you can do except to call one of the excellent nurses when there is a problem. 

Wedding vows used to include archaic language like "cherish and protect." Once you have turned your loved one over for surgery, it seems like there is little protecting you can still do, and the cherishing doesn't seem to help lower the pain levels . . . well, at least much.

While escaping for lunch one day, I found myself in another strange situation. Holding the door open for two elderly women, one very deliberately looked me up and down and said, "Thank you, sir. I just love your boots." Attempting some humor in what had been a hard (and strange) day, I responded by saying, "Well, ma’m, I thought you were going to complement my bald head." She quickly reached up and rubbed my chin and said, "No, but I do love your whiskers."

What hasn't been strange this week is the love, care and affection that we have felt from many of you. I genuinely want to thank you for your cards, emails, notes and flowers. They have meant a great deal to all of us. I especially want to thank Mark and Carol Kieft who have allowed us to invade their home and upset their normal schedule. With Su, Kari and me staying on, I can almost promise this next week is going to be another strange one for them.

Prayer requests - just two this week, but I would appreciate it if you would keep the second one in mind each day.

First, pray for Krista's safe return to Chicago. She is eight months pregnant and traveling with special permission from her mid-wife. I would think it very strange to have my next granddaughter's birth certificate read "Born: somewhere over Iowa on American Airlines."

Second, continue to pray for Su's recovery. She is obviously experiencing some normal, but significant pain. Pray that the surgery can actually provide a solution for some of the difficulties she has experienced during the past years.