Six Weddings and a Funeral

In preparation for a trip to California for the wedding of our co-worker, Suzie Duncan, an interesting topic of conversation came up. Su asked me if I had performed more funerals or weddings. To tell you the truth, I couldn't remember. There was a time in Bolivia when I probably did three funerals to every wedding. However, working with lots of young people in Costa Rica has meant performing many more weddings than funerals.

I believe there is a tendency to remember the sad funerals and the funny weddings. As perfect as many want their wedding day to be, most of the humorous things happen because of mistakes being made. For that reason alone I like to think that I have helped many young people begin their marriages with a smile on their face.

I remember one poor groom making desperate facial gestures to me toward the end of his wedding service. I had no idea what he was going on about, but, from my perspective, we were through. After presenting the couple for the first time in public (always an honor) and watching them walk down the aisle, Su asked me why I didn't have them kiss.

A few years ago, when I was back in Bolivia, this same man introduced me to his 20-something daughter by saying, "This is the missionary I have always told you about!" It would have been interesting to know what he had told her - interesting, but not really necessary.

More than once I have forgotten the names of the young couple standing before me. This is probably not as bad as forgetting the starting words of the Lord's Prayer - which I have also done - but it does create a moment of awkward tension.

Thinking of awkward moments, weddings have their share of those, and I am not responsible for all of them.

I once waited an hour and a half after the official start time for the bride to show up for her wedding. Really. The parents of the groom kept coming up to me and pleading for me to do something. Apparently there had been a hair-dressing debacle - far out of my realm of pastoral responsibility.

This happened another time when a bride experienced what could best be described as "a strategic undergarment failure." Since Su had already begun playing the prelude when this occurred, it may have been the longest wedding prelude on record! After using up all the wedding music she had, Su started playing through the hymnal. At one point she realized that she was playing "Poor Pilgrim."

The wedding of the daughter of the Brazilian Counsel in Bolivia to the son of conservative Baptist missionaries had its own moments. A half hour before the wedding was to begin the missionary approached me and asked if it was true he was going to have to dance at the reception with the counsel's wife. When I responded in the positive, he said, "Well, pastor, this means you have to teach me how to waltz." Since my own dancing skills have been generously characterized as "remedial level," I assure you this presented certain challenges.

Su and I once sat at a wedding reception table between the groom's committed socialist parents and the bride's career military parents. Fortunately, the socialists only spoke Spanish and the officer and his wife only spoke English. I believe this was the day I learned about the concept of "creative translation."

Of course, funerals can have their own share of awkward moments. At my first funeral in Bolivia I was told after already beginning the graveside ceremony that it was the pastor's responsibility to screw the lid down immediately before the committal. It became painfully obvious to everyone that I was a real novice as I did the best I could with a borrowed coin. I have never gone to a funeral in Latin America without a screwdriver since!

Without a doubt you need to pray for us and for Suzie's wedding this week!