God's Love Languages

Since it's publication in 1992 over seven million copies of The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman have been sold. It has become normal for couples to talk about their primary love language as they try to express and interpret their care and commitment for each other. It is also common for people who work together to use the vocabulary of the book to communicate what helps them feel accepted and appreciated.

I serve with one man from Chicago who values hugs... good, "manly-man" hugs. Words roll off his considerable (and hairy) back. However, a good hug lets him know how much I value him as a co-worker and friend.

Although I thought I knew the answer, I once asked Su about her "love language." She surprised me a bit by saying she had never really bought into the vocabulary of the book(s). In fact, after thinking about it, she told me she "wanted me to speak ALL five languages." 

I tell you folks, it keeps me running!

This week I spent some time thinking about God's love languages. What is He looking for in His relationship with me? It is common for men to offer all sorts of opinions about what God wants in His relationship with them. It seemed like it might be a good idea to "ask God" about His love languages by looking at what He has revealed in the Word.

It could be that God's answer would be even more surprising than Su's.

Right from the start we should recognize that religion and religious expression don't seem to do too much for God. Sacrifice and burnt offerings (even in the Old Testament) only went so far for Him (Hosea 6:6). Still, men invest energy, resources and, even, their lives, trying to "out religion" each other. I can only imagine how stale that must seem to God by this point in our creation's history.

Abraham seemed uniquely capable of capturing God's attention in the Old Testament. There was something special in their relationship together. Abraham understood at least one of God's love languages. Ultimately, I believe God responded to Abraham's faith. When God told Abram to leave his family, his father, and his country, to follow after Him as a nomad, he did. He stepped out by faith and kept walking.

Of course, that was just the beginning. In Genesis 12 we discover that even after receiving special promises from God, Abram experienced unbelief. First, he went down to Egypt to escape a famine even though there was no indication that God had called him to do so. Second, when confronted with personal danger in Egypt, Abram lied about his relationship with Sarai rather than trust God in a tough situation.

Now, how do I say this? I appreciate the fact that Abram or Abraham knew the love language of God and still failed. It makes him less of a hero and more of a human. It also allows me to have hope when my own faith fails. I am reminded that faith is not a one-time decision. It is a life of living.

Thankfully, there was enough faith in Abraham's walk that James would later refer to him as "the friend of God" (James 2:23). He was someone who practiced God's love language of faith.

In the New Testament, the Apostle John "got" God's other love language. He understood which attitude/action in man God finds irresistible. In John 14:21 he wrote, "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me..."

I am convinced it is no accident that it was John who recorded these words of Jesus. Matthew must have heard them. Peter, who probably gave much Gospel material to Mark, could remember them. However, it was John who wrote later in his life (and years after Jesus' ascension) that obedience was God's love language.

John lived a long life and had many opportunities to obey or disobey his Master in a variety of situations. He learned obedience as he pastored the early church in Jerusalem. He practiced obedience as he cared for Mary, Jesus' mother. Later, he perfected obedience during his travels to Asia where he experienced persecution. He continued in obedience on the small, barren island called Patmos. Even as an old man he demonstrated his obedience as he stood up for the truth of the Gospel against an early form of Gnosticism in Ephesus.

Faith and obedience - when we put them into practice, they become God's love languages. When they remain a religious theory, they must be as offensive to God as empty terminology is to Su.