I doubt anyone of a certain age who lives in the United States can forget the following public service advertisement: "This is your brain [an egg]. This is drugs [a hot frying pan]. This is your brain on drugs [one sizzling egg]. Any questions?"
Since its appearance in 1987, it has become one of the best-known, mass media, health campaign ads - encouraging parodies, jokes and, even, a few songs. In 1999 TV Guide came up with a list of the top 50 commercials of all time. “Your-brain-as-a-frying-egg” came in at (drum roll) #11. Personally, I would have scored the old Welch’s Grape Jelly ad – the one with the vapor going up and coming back into the cooking vat – much higher.
Unfortunately, people are still attracted to drugs because it activates
the part of the brain that makes you feel, well, good. After all,
humans do enjoy that kind of feeling.
Now, here is why all this came to my mind today. Arthur Aron, PhD,
says, “The area of the brain which is stimulated by drugs is the same
reward area which is activated (when) people are experiencing intense
romantic desire.” I think he means love, but scientists (and doctors)
must get paid by the syllable.
Helen Fisher spent her academic career trying to figure out what is
happening in the brains of people who are head-over-heels in love. She
confirmed that the caudate nucleus – what our evolutionary friends
sometimes refer to as the “reptilian brain” – is very active in people
in love. I am not sure what that means. However, Fisher also says that
love activates our brains a bit like chocolate. Now, that I get.
Another researcher, Ted Huston, had more interest in what happens in
the brain in long-term relationships. He found that people who tend to
idealize their mate have happier marriages. According to Huston,
"Usually, this is a matter of one person putting good spin on the other,
seeing the partner as more responsive than he or she really is."
Score one for blind optimism!
Today, my “chocolate-loving brain” is very thankful for Su. We are
celebrating our 38th anniversary – certainly not worthy of being
announced on Paul Harvey’s old radio program, but, for optimists like
me, “something is something.”
I was never a quick learner. In first grade I was in the “bluebird
reading group” – in other words, I had the natural academic ability of
wet cement. When we moved to Bolivia, Spanish was a challenge. I think
it also took me more than the average amount of time to learn some of
the basic marriage lessons a man needs to absorb. It could be my
reptilian brain is stunted in the evolutionary process.
Still, marriage is a great school to help us evolve from “I” to “we.”
The tuition is pretty high and the homework can be painful, but the
degree continues to have value, even in a troubled economy.
Thinking of schools, when Su was in the ninth grade, one of her friends
developed a crush on me. Hard to imagine, but true. When Su heard about
it, she told her friend, “Stay away from him. He’s nothing but
trouble.”
In retrospect, Su was probably right and would have been well-served to
follow her own advice. Still, today I am very thankful that someone as
bright and skilled as Su fell in love with a genuine bluebird like me.
So, today I celebrate “my brain on Su.” Next to the experience of
following after Jesus, nothing has impacted me like life and love with
her. In fact, as I look at the people, experiences and tools that God
has used to form me as a disciple, no one and nothing has been used in
my life like she has.
Happy Anniversary, Su! You probably were hoping for something more than
a “fried egg” on this day, but keep in mind what Dr. Huston had to say
about putting a good spin on what you got. More than anything, I hope
you know that I love you more today than I did when that pastor wearing
white patent leather shoes married us at Woodland Camp.
Some things you can forgive – but those shoes on that wonderful day in those beautiful woods are not one of them!
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