Wisdom by the Awful Grace of God

I was never a big fan of Jim Morrison, the front man for the Doors, the 60's rock band. Still, he did write a few lines which made sense. He once said, "We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private... pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict." Looking back at how things turned out for him, I guess Mr. Morrison knew something about solitary pain.

Now a popular musician I did appreciate was Bob Dylan. What ever you think about him as an artist or a man, you have to give him credit. Nobody every made more money playing the same three notes on a harmonica than Bob did! Dylan wrote, "Behind every beautiful thing, there's some kind of pain" In this case, the "minstrel of the Minnesota iron range" was probably right.

The most beautiful person in my life is Su. Unfortunately, for many years she has dealt with chronic pain that, fortunately, most of us can only imagine. This week we will travel to the United States where Su will take part in a three and a half week program at the Pain Rehabilitation Clinic (part of the Mayo Health System). Our hope is this medical therapy will provide a tangible breakthrough for her... well, for us! Obviously, we would value your prayers.

Seeing Su deal with the realities of pain and suffering over the years has led me to wonder about what God is doing in and through this experience. I know I don't have the complete answers to those questions - maybe not even the partial answers! In fact, I wonder if I will ever know what this is all about until I get to heaven. Still, there are a few things "I think I know." At least I think I know them today as I write these words!

I have come to understand that God uses pain to humble us. He uses suffering to remind us not to think more of ourselves than we should. In Romans 12:3 Paul wrote, "... I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us." (NLT) After a while pain grinds you down. The faith you thought you had seems to evaporate like water on Texas pavement in July. It can be kind of humbling... even to someone with my ego structure! Still, God uses what God will use to bring us to the place where we realize we do not have all the answers.

God uses pain and suffering to prove to us the inadequacy of material and, even, scientific solutions to meet our needs. Su has had some great, professional doctors, therapists, nurses and other medical personnel helping her. Because of the blessing of good health insurance we have been able to get her quality treatment. She has gone through several surgeries which were all suppose to "fix it" - whatever the diagnosed "it" was at that particular time. However, we "still haven't found what we're looking for" - something to give practical relief after all this time, effort and investment.

Moses is a good example of someone who lost his dependence on material solutions. In Hebrews 11:24–26 we find a concise description of what happened to him: "It was by faith that Moses, when he grew up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to share the oppression of God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin. He thought it was better to suffer for the sake of Christ than to own the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking ahead to his great reward." (NLT) Thomas Manton, the Puritan preacher, said, “While all things are quiet and comfortable, we live by sense rather than faith. But the worth of a soldier is never known in times of peace.” Moses chose to NOT trust in his good sense or senses. Instead, as a good soldier, he choose to trust in God.

A third thing I think I have learned is how God uses pain to focus us on the eternal. There is something about suffering that helps us hope for what God has for us "when we break on through to the other side." Romans 8:18 says, "Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later." I hope with all my heart that is true.

As many of you know, I have rather diverse musical interests... sometimes much to Su's chagrin! Recently I have been listening to a lot of "old timey" Gospel music - well, that and Jonny Lang and Charlie Musslewhite! Recently Su asked me why so much of Gospel music talks about heaven rather than the here and now. At the time I don't think I had a good answer to her question. As I have thought about it, I have come to believe our heavenly hope has a very practical impact on how we live in the midst of the pain and suffering which life naturally brings to us. Because we know this reality is not the ultimate reality, we keep on with an alive hope rather than a quiet desperation.

Aeschylus was an ancient Greek playwright. He is sometimes described as the father of the dramatic tragedy. About 450 years before Jesus Christ was born he wrote, "He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God."

Wisdom by the awful grace of God - I am going to have to meditate on that one for a while longer. Maybe as I listen to Stevie Ray Vaughn sing "The Sky is Crying."