Living Our "Dash" for All It Is Worth

The death of two men last week left me meditating on mortality and legacy. Their departure from this earth took place in decidedly different fashions. My guess is one will be remembered and idealized while the other will be quickly forgotten by all but a select few.

As a young man I remember Nelson Mandela tee-shirts before I had any clear idea of who he was. What I did know was that his image on my skinny chest meant I was against something, and in those days I was against almost everything. Still, I defend myself with the words of another historic icon when he famously said, “Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart.”

For the record, I believe that same quote continues on with something about “old liberals,” but I will allow you to look for the complete statement for yourself.

Unfortunately, when someone like Nelson Mandela passes away, the tendency in popular culture is to idolize him with no respect for his complex humanity. There seems to be an innate need to remove him from his rich historical context and create another simplistic popular icon.

Still, I would gently suggest that a refusal to remember Mandela embracing “limited violence” in the fifties dilutes his gentlemanly behavior when he was imprisoned for 18 years at Robben Island.  Christo Brand became Mandela’s personal jailor when Brand was still a teenager. Mandela’s generous spirit won him over. Brand has been famously quoted as saying "Mandela was my prisoner, my friend, my president and my father."

I said two men died this week.

On Wednesday one of the Costa Rican physicians who worked very closely with Su on her complex health issues for over ten years took his own life. During our years visiting with him he became a friend and companion on Su’s rather long journey. He confided in us when his marriage dissolved and ended in divorce. He allowed us to talk honestly with him as he struggled with his own profound depression.

Unfortunately, suicide limits the creation of glowing eulogies. It goes against one of Mandela’s most famous quotes: "Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." In this world there is no “getting up again” once you have taken your own life. Still, it was the persistence of this particular physician which resulted in the diagnosis which eventually led to Su's surgeries in 2011 and 2012. If it hadn't been for his care she might not be walking today.

Nelson Mandela’s funeral is planned to be one of the largest since Winston Churchill’s. It will include several ceremonies and last a number of days. Our friend took his life on Wednesday and was buried quickly on Thursday. I imagine that both of them will eventually have a plaque on their graves that will mark the dates of their birth and death. In Mandela’s case it will have something like: 18 July 1918 – 5 December 2013.

It has been said many times in many sermons and at least one poem that all that matters is the “dash.” I rather like the way the Texas songwriter, Kevin Welch, phrased it. “There'll be two dates on your tombstone, and all your friends will read 'em, But all that's gonna matter is that little dash between 'em.”

In a week filled with thoughts of mortality and natural grief, I am reminded that I want to live my “dash” for all its worth - I want to live it as a disciple of Jesus. As Mandela said, “We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.”